**Ring**Ring**
W - Hello?
R - Warren is that you?
W - Yes it is. Who's this?
R - Warren, it's Richard. Did you see today's ruling?
W - Yes, I saw it. You sound stressed, is everything alright?
R - No. No, I'm not fucking alright. Those fucks on the Supreme Court just made a ruling that completely fucks my lawsuit against that Jew, the Bible thumpers, that bitch from Saskatchewan and that fucking ass-wipe rag! How fucking alright do you think that makes me? I'm hyper-fucking-ventilating here!
W - Richard, Richard you've got to calm down...
R - What the fuck do you mean "calm down"? I'm fucked you prick and you said it would be a sure thing. "Just like the last times" you said! "They'll bend right the fuck over before trial" you said!
W - Ok. Warren, I understand that you're gay and that you're predisposed to show certin female emotions but now isn't the time. Right now you've got to man-up and look at things realistically.
R - What the fuck do you mean "realisticaly"? You said I'd win you cunt! You said it would be a sure fucking thing!
W - I know that but we didn't know that the Court would be setting new precedent. Things have changed.
R - I'm fucking fucked! That's what changed!
W - Richard, stop being so fucking dramatic. Things have changed and now you've got to deal with the new reality. Let's look at our options. We know that in light of today's ruling that your lawsuit is going to get thrown out and that you're going to have to pay damages. That's a given. It's also not desireable.
R - That's right...
W - So how do we get out of this while saving some face?
R - If I knew that I wouldn't be fucking calling you now would I?
W - Ok, I guess...
R - Fucking right! So what do I do Warren?
W - Well, first off you need to stop acting like such a fucking drama queen!
R - Stop! Just you stop right now! I won't have you throwing my sexuality in my face every time we have an argument!
W - What? You're forgetting that night in Vancouver! You remember? Our first time? The only real manhood in your entire body came from me and you swallowed every fucking drop! Now pay attention princess because I have a plan...
R - Are you going to throw that in my face every time we talk? You're a fucking prick!
W - If I remember correctly, you had it splashed all over your fucking face! Then you lapped it up like it was fucking yogurt! Are you ready to get with the fucking program now or not?
R - OK!... OK, what's your plan?
W - Well, the way I see it, we've got three options; 1) You can withdraw your statement of claim - That'll leave you on the hook for their legal costs though and, from what I understand, the Jew and that other lawyer bitch are expensive. 2) You can let things lapse like you did with your first suit with the Bible thumpers. - If things just go away, there's less chance that it'll cost you any money. and 3) You can hold a press conference where you hold up a Dinosaur stuffie.
R - A dinosaur stuffie? What's that going to do for me?
W - You'll win over the darwinist demogarphic...
R - Demographic? This isn't an election you prick! It's a fucking court case!
W - You asked my opinion and I'm giving it to you. I do elections! When it comes to court cases I take the low hanging fruit just the same as you do!
R - "Low hanging fruit"... Story of my life... Oh, say, did you meet Alfonso? He tends bar at that place over on Young St... Talk about "low hanging"... And he's just as fruity as me! *giggle*
W - Ok, it's late and my wife is calling and I have no desire to talk about your sex life...
R - Does she know? About us, I mean. Have you told her yet?
W - No, she doesn't know. And she won't know...
R - She'll know if I tell her... Look you cunt, you got me into this mess and now you're going to have to get me out. If you don't, the entire world is going to learn that you slept with a man and that your kids are adopted because you don't have enough decent sperm in you to produce your own brood...
W - You wouldn't fucking dare!...
R - Oh, yes I would... Just you watch me!
W - Alright... I'll see what I can come up with... We'll chat in the morning...
R - Good. We'll chat in the morning...
W - Good night Richard
R - Good night Warren
**click**click**
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